it is time

it is time for me to move on and start a new blog. one where my identity shall not be known until narcissism takes over me. one where i can freely air my views in the beginning because i know no one knows who i am. mixed emotions for i love hotsundaescream. since the secondary school days i had this blog. my life and thoughts and pics i placed on it. and proudly showed to the world. i will not shut it down. perhaps one day the world will allow me to revisit it once again. there shall not be a fullstop to this blog

are you gay?

In my view,

Being gay is not a subset of liking another guy. however,  liking another guy is a proper subset of being gay.

If (you) were a boy:

it takes more than liking guys to be gay.

Everyone can wear pink. Even those who are hetrosexual. (or so they claim to be; even citing marraige and kids as evidence).

Yellow signifies royalty in some cultures and wealth in others. Those spotting yellow think they have it all. They are happy or seem to be very secure with themselves. Their security translates to arrogance and obnoxiousness to others, especially to those who wear sky blue. Yellow tends to be very prominent in specialised online friend making prolific websites.

Sky blue- on the edges of royalty. So near yet so far. Misunderstood. To the general grey population, sky blue appears to be yellow. To the pink imperialists, sky blue will always be blue. Pariahs.

What’s your colour?

fuck off lah

though most of the time, i sound like im telling you to do what my title says, i really dont want that. i really wanna be there and chat with u. Please don be offened k? Im just really hot tempered. i have a really short fuse; im tempremental, emotional and extremely sensitive. my mind is like a roller coaster, im always trying to push my little cart upwards, but i think im addicted to the corkscrews. i somehow always end up going up and down. and when im upset, i really enjoy it. i hate to pick myself up and be happy when im angry and sad. i feel as if i don deserve to go up so i make myself feel sad and angry. and i feel good.

please dont be angry with me ok guys? im will try to be more patient. i need to beat my competition. if not very soon, i wont have anymore friends…

if only i could smile like that and actually mean it. amy, this is the woman i was telling you about at far east plaza.

darkness covers most imperfections…

body parts exhibition- eye and shoulder.

elva hsiao. thankie to you!

Sorry. GO MEI NAH SAI! ask ure sis take shit.

housing a home

to many,

the home is a place wher one lives.

to me,

it’s a place where i prepare to leave.

the place looks glum

people look sad

they make me stress

the toilet is always wet

once again the toilet is locked. as usual it is wet. U, get out. yah i want to.

Pooohh ohh wooh C.eremony

I’m finally back from Pulau Tekong. Yes we had our Passing Out Ceremony today. some ceremony it was. urghz. anyways, the day hasn’t been how I envisioned it to be but, yah the best part was us booking out although we were the last company to book out.

Is fabian an over-achiver? nope. he is just over ambitious. he plans alot alot alot of things in one day. he thinks that whatever seems theoretically possible will be physically conceivable. hahah, why? cos although fabian’s eyelids are starting to feel heavy, he is refusing to sleep now, wanna watch liverpool at 3 am with mummy =) aww… tomolow torn betwn. movie with Lieutenant Colonel Beh (refer to guy in civilian clothes- centre man) and platoon mates and hot lunch date with pre-enlistee xue. but most prob will go with xue la… my platoon mates wont miss me after just a few hours right ?

felt really upset with the situation just now. everything seemed so unfair. we didn’t even have a chance to change anything. no one wants to fight for us, all we did was rubbish work and we weren’t even acknowledged. sometimes it’s not what we do, but who we do it with…. whiskey platoon 3 section 3 batch 250108-110308 wo ai ni!

he said she said

on a lighter note, i realised that he said she said by ashley tisdale is starting to grow on me. i’ve played and replayed it more than 5 times in the last hour! haha.

THNANK YOU TERENCE FOR THE INTRO!

the weather is changing, so many things are happening. yes, im so happy!

lucky night

so yes i decided in the end to go. go for what u may ask?

oh yah hi kelvin and whoever.. LOL

i decided to go for SP’s choir concert. yes. well i kinda prayed on the train for the nite to be a nice and meaningfull one and boy was it!

when i arrived there, the ushers didnt bother to check/ask me for my ticket cos i went there quite late and i think they assumed that i was one of those walking in and out. hahaha woohoo! so i got free entry.

after that, i joined my friends. i thought that their seats were terrible so i made them change to better, more central seats. yes and i sat in front of some women. i turned around and asked if i was blocking them and they said that they were distracted by my funky hair. LOL. in the end we were asked to change seats cos that row that we were sitting in were apparently reserved for VIPs. so we sat behind the women. yes and i realised that one of the gals was really attractive. guess who she was?

DENISE KELLER. the MTV VJ/model/host oh my god yes. i was starstruck. yes i wanted to talk 2 her. so i plucked up my courage, knocked on her chair and started talking to her…

she shook my hand, introed herself and yes we chatted about stuffs. MTV, gigs and all.. bet she must be so bored telling me all these. i asked her if utt was really that short and she said, she cant comment. lol. anyways… yes once in a lifetime experience. but i got a strange feeling i’ll be seeing more of her soon. LOL. anyways she left during intermission and she said goodbye.

yes.. and another lucky thing. i ordered fried carrot cake and the uncle gave me someone’s else’s order so i didnt have 2 wait! hahaha LOL.

praise the lord.

cuba

yes i know. i haven’t been updating regularly.

underage party happened at Zouk on Tuesday night. i bought tickets from my brother so that he could get into the VIP list. in the end Jocelyn wasn’t able to make it. i ended up going with mummy and auntie. Great! at least mummy paid for my cocktail. and i managed to get into Velvet underground. MUahahahaha!

went swimming in the morning at Bedok. Hmm Bedok is a great place to swim. (if you know what i mean ) travelled all the way down just for one person. Terence Fong. In life, you just feel like doing nice things for some and totally NOT for others. i ended up at Parkway BK alone. Had lunch and did my work. Feng Shui was superb. I accomplished so much.

Went for CJ’s drama production. i skipped tuition for that. met hilmi. got his number. nothing else shall be said. its between me myself and i. i realised that many people said hi to me. but the thing is that’s pretty much what they did. hi and that’s all. well i figured that if others ain’t wanna have u around them, then u might as well just have fun by yourself. so i went home and cooked instant noodles and watched a DVD.

~learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all~

silver

As I limbered up for PE, I told myself that today was going to another one of those uneventful PE training sessions that would supposedly help me to pass my NAPFA test. well guess what? today, i finally got my SILVER AWARD.

Saying that I’m elated is a freaking understatement. I’m practically happy like SHIT!

It started with Mrs Tan making all those who failed re-do the entire test again. So i went into the “test” with a “i dont really care” attitude. Little did I know that after several tries at broad jump and with Mrs Tan’s kicking demonstration I actually hit 222 cm! whoopie! I was proud of myself but I serious doubts about clearing the chin ups. And to make matters worse, Mrs Tan made me use the really tall bar! So once again i was like 1, 2, 3, 4, and by the time i got there i was like DO IT MAN! haha and i cleared it!

The run was good. Good thing Kevin was there! he ran till sole came out! waHA but i think i did my personal best run 11 50! freaking C grade. and then it all hit mE!

FABIAN ONG HAS GOTTEN A SILVER AWARD FOR NAPFA!

what i felt was sensational! it was like orgasm without sex! hahaha. i don’t even know how to describe it.

i was beaming from ear to ear. i was so happy and everyone could tell. and i didn’t care. mrs tan was so happy for me as well! and after that i went all out and had a blast with jocelyn! WooHOOOOOOo. i am so bloated now.

 

well lovelle, seems like u’ve got silver for gu zheng as well. although it wasn’t what u wanted, the most important thing to know is that u have tried ur best and that is what matters!

my thoughts

i dragged myself out of bed today. i was really contemplating the idea of skipping school but i told myself to look forward to lunch with my new found friend, amy. check http://www.mummyndaddy.blogspot.com/  i groggily looked at my mobile to check the time and realised that a couple of messages. i rushed straight into the shower after realising that it was already 650. i only had the time to check my inbox when i was on the bus. to my dismay, amy wouldn’t be coming to school. from then i knew that my day would start rolling downhill.

no one wanted to have lunch with me.

so i decided to have a heavy recess. carrie abandoned me 2 get her crispy noodles. i ended up queuing up for western f00d which i vowed never 2 eat. i only queued there because I WAS DESPERATE. the only ppl i knew in the entire canteen were in that queue. and when i went to sit with the class i realised that they had joined a auntie who was sitting at the end of a long table. only that no one was facing her. so yah naturally i had 2 fill that space. the chicken chop was disgusting. utterly repulsive.

and as i was picking at my pile of chicken shit, the most interesting happened. i heard a voice (and no it wasnt from the chicken).  the auntie spoke 2 me

auntie: lai mo hooi wai ar?

what it means is that she asked if i had no appetite in canto. and so a wonderful conversation took place. she told me 2 get rid of the junk and adviced me 2 either get noodles of porridge. and being the g00d boy i am i listened to her. i came back all smiles and she told me all about the changes in CJ canteen saying that in the past, there were so much good food. pork rib noodles… lalala wah so fun speaking to her. in canto some more…

i have found a lunch kakhi. hahaha. actually i really wanna blog so much more about her. but yah i have 2 move on to other more serious things.

1.  i asked XF if she was lonely at home. she replied by saying that im more lonely cos im insecure. i was stunned. then she started lecturing me about how my mental insecurities transcended to my physiological state. wow. of course she didnt use such chiiim lingo but she basically said that im lonely cos im insecure. which is very true. what she told me really made sense. its a wonder what unexpected things ppl say.

2.yesterday aaron told me that “not everyone can b ur friend” how true is that?

 3. the class jersey controversy is over rated. i voted for adidas FYI. but id really like the puma one. so if anyone wants to make personalised jerseys together, drop me a message we’ll go make together. im serious about that!

4. i went to a different gym today. suddenly muscle man walked in. scary. haha. he was grunting and all. whacky. ahaha. i did my leg ups. and i think he stopped and watched me as if i was performing. hahaha. JOke. i love the sweet escape akon remix.

5. i realised how shallow i am. here i am talking about insignificant bitching about my social life… and on the eastern sea board of singapore, a young boy named terence is considering his university ambitions. how did i end up like this?